Being Optimistic…..What it isn’t and what it is.

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By Bethann Muise Coombs

We’ve all heard people describe someone as optimistic.  We’ve done it ourselves, or perhaps it is you they are describing.  It’s interesting, to me, the intention behind this description as I have found that they vary from individual to individual and it is not always meant as a compliment.  There is a grave misunderstanding of what it means to be optimistic, held by some.

There is a perception that you are born optimistic or you’re not and that’s all there is to it.  Typically, the folks who believe this would consider themselves in the “not” category.  

There are those that say “being optimistic is not being realistic and if you are not realistic, well then, you have your head in the clouds.”  I don’t see the compliment there, but I can see how there may be times where this intention fits.

For example, if you plan an outing at the beach, and the weather forecast calls for a storm, all of the optimistic thinking in the world will not affect the outcome of the weather.  This is not being realistic.  More on this example later….

Finally, and perhaps the biggest offender in diminishing the value of optimism is when the terms hopeless and optimistic are used together as in “she’s hopelessly optimistic”.  For me, this implies that being optimistic is like trying to catch the clouds.

Now let’s shine some light on what being optimistic really is and learn ways that we can increase our optimistic thinking if we need to and pat ourselves on the back if we’ve already made it part of who we are.

The ability to look at any given situation and find the good, the value, and the hope that lies within, is being optimistic. 

It takes effort and those optimistic friends we all know make daily choices to see the opportunities that present themselves in every situation.

Begin with the small stuff like missing the alarm in the morning and waking up late, having a lunch date cancelled, or getting caught in a long line at the grocery store.

Ask yourself how you can respond that will bring peace, not anger and needless frustration.

Let’s take another look at our earlier example of the planned outing and potential inclement weather….

We’ve established that being optimistic that there will be no storm will not work as no human can change weather patterns according to our will.  How can we be optimistic in this situation then?

We can reframe the situation and take a look at it from another angle.  

Instead of obsessing about what we can’t change, we can think about how to use the situation to our advantage.

If we can’t go to the beach because of the storm, where else can we go?  Or what can we do with our time instead that will be useful in some way?

When we begin with the small stuff, we strengthen our ability to look at any given situation from multiple perspectives and so when we are hit with the big stuff, we know how to move forward.  Move forward in a way that will lift us up, not hold us down.

Practice, practice, practice!

We are programmed by our own words and how we interpret our reality. If we want to become more optimistic, then we need to use the positive language of most optimists.  

My intention in writing this article is to encourage women to examine their understanding of what it means to be optimistic.  To honor the commitment our optimistic friends have made to see the value in some of the worst situations and finally, that we will all follow in their example.

Bethann Muise Coombs is a daughter, a mother, a wife and a  life-long learner who is enrolled as an Empowerment Coach in training with SWAT.  Her purpose is to live an authentic life, her mission is to help other women do the same.

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