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Get to The Other Side of Fear

By on July 18, 2014
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By Crystal Andrus

I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I’d ever write an article, blog, or book about fear. All along, my message has been about fearlessness, courage, and truth; so you can imagine the shock I felt while writing my latest book, The Emotional Edge, and I was confronted with overwhelming fear.

This book was originally planned to be a self-help empowerment book for both men and women, when it decided to take a turn on me.

Who knew a book could have a mind of its own?
Certainly not me!

What came next was even more baffling: Dark Nights of the Soul . . . one after another after another: Memories surfacing, buried stories revealing themselves, all the while I just wanted to write a nice, happy book to help people feel more empowered in their lives.

I guess that’s the saying, “Be careful what you wish for!”

And yet, I promise you this: After it was all said and done, I’ve never felt so much freedom and liberation. Cleansing the soul has brought me overwhelming peace and joy. I could never go back to where I was. Ignorance is not bliss, its emptiness. Void. Lonely.

For those of us doing healing work, the whole process is a little scary, even daunting, I know. When you begin unraveling your stories, you too may have a whole gamut of emotions that want to rise up and come out. They need to be freed.

Let me assure you: Fear is a bastard.

It is restrictive, oppressive, and constrictive. It makes sane people feel out of control, panicked, and sometimes, even like imminent death is approaching. This is what a panic attack is. If you’ve never experienced a panic attack, imagine believing that something outside of you has the power to hurt you, get you, and take from you. It can be a terrorizing feeling. You feel like you’re literally having a heart attack. I’ve had them.

So we cling on to what we know, afraid to venture outside the box. As my dad used to say: “It’s better to stay with the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”

I’m here to tell you, he’s wrong. God bless my dad.

But those who have faced their stories and drawn all the fear, shame, guilt, blame, and sorrow out of them, know the struggle you’re facing when it comes to empowerment work, as well as the relief on the other side. We call this The Dark Night of the Soul.

Please, don’t let a possible few dark days prevent you from finding emotional freedom and personal empowerment for the rest of your life. It’s short-term pain in lieu of long-term joy!

Your fear may try to convince you an avalanche of dark feelings are coming and bad days are ahead but it’s not true. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. And boy, do I know just how real fear can feel.

Fear can be debilitating, astringent, and suffocating. But here is the most important message I want you to know: Fear doesn’t exist in the universe; it exists only within each of us.

I explained it this way to my kids: Your fear is actually similar to a little tiny mouse hiding in the darkest corner of the basement, afraid. It scurries around in the dark, making noises. Finally, you come down the stairs with your flashlight (your blaring, bright, internal light) and shine the spotlight on the tiny little mouse. Its shadow appears to be monstrous, when, in fact, it is only a tiny little mouse.

You, terrorized by the size of The Shadow, scream, and run in the opposite direction, back up the stairs. Keep that fear locked in the basement. Get more security—maybe some big scary pit bulls and more weapons.

The Other Side of Fear
Join Crystal’s Free TeleClass. Click to secure your spot!

But your fear doesn’t want to be alone and rejected: “Why do you keep shunning me?” It wonders, “Am I really that scary? I’m just one little tiny mouse. I can’t hurt you! You are the one hurting you!”

Eventually, your fear finds a way to get your attention again and the pattern repeats itself. Patterns are nothing more than fear passed down, generation after generation.

The next time fear taps you on the shoulder, turn, and look at it. Don’t run from it, ever again! See it for what it is: A tiny little mouse with your huge powerful light amplifying it into something it’s not. The ironic part is that you actually need to give your fear so much attention, love, and kindness. You will invite it out of the dark basement to join you upstairs and have some fun. Maybe you’ll even get a little cage for it and call it a hamster. Fear loves running on those little hamster wheels!

We all have fear. So, please don’t be embarrassed or ashamed of yours. Just remind yourself that as real as it feels, it’s not real. The only monstrous thing in the room is your own light. The bigger your light, the bigger your shadow.

Does this mean you should leave your front door wide open and offer criminals to come in and dine with you? No!

You still need to have a healthy sense of boundaries and read the warning signs whenever you’re in public. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut, and move in the opposite direction. There were few animals killed in the horrible tsunamis that killed so many living in Sri Lanka, Thailand, India, and other bordering countries. Scientists believe it is because the animals all instinctively knew something was wrong and they all fled to higher ground hours in advance. The only animals killed were domesticated ones like dogs and sheep. You must always trust your instincts and move toward higher ground. This is what it means to “take the high road”. Think for yourself! Trust your gut! Listen to your body!

Allowing yourself the opportunity to feel is mandatory if you want to be healthy, authentic, and empowered. You’ll discover that although feeling your feelings may seem scary at first, your wounds are healing, and soon there will be little left that will trigger you back to those old, raw, vulnerable places. I often have to remind myself that the first four letters in the word healthy are “heal”. You’ll realize you’re becoming healthy when things stop feeling quite so heavy.

Let me help support you through the Fire of Fear and into the Peace of Mind that awaits you on The Other Side! Join me on Tuesday, July 29th at 8pm ET for a free teleclass. Click here to secure your spot: http://swatinstitute.com/the-other-side-of-fear/index.html

If excessive dark feelings surface, that are too much for you to handle, please reach out to a therapist or to one of our Personal Empowerment Coaches at The Simply Woman Accredited Training Institute (www.SWATinstitute.com). We offer free unlimited mentorship coaching. Sometimes a little extra support is all you need!

I’d love to know your thoughts on today’s blog. Leave a message and I’ll respond.

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