Home   >   Art & Lifestyle   >   Girl, Control your Fangs

Girl, Control your Fangs

By on November 22, 2018
fangs

By Deidre Strutz

In the early years of my career I was fortunate to be a key player at the campus I was working at. One day while in a meeting with the Campus Director, the Director of Admissions and myself, the Director of Admissions implied that the recruitment numbers were low due to my office.  To add context to this, the Director of Admissions was recruited from another company, he was aggressive, egotistical and bold, and I mean bold. Knowing full well that my office was not to blame, I pushed back. I let him know that there are federal regulations that mandate certain processes and we cannot ignore those. I was straightforward and said that maybe if he tried to understand the process instead of trying to circumvent it, we could avoid some of these problems at the front end. Some processes can’t be ignored, even when you need to meet your corporate numbers. We have to remain compliant or we won’t have any students to recruit, because we won’t have jobs.

The meeting ended and my Campus Director asked me to stay behind. He acknowledged my point but then said something so profound to me. “Deidre, you need to learn to control your fangs.” He indicated they showed during that meeting and that I would be better served not being so straightforward next time. I was stunned. Control my fangs? I thought my emotions were pretty in check during that meeting. I engaged in the conversation with facts, not emotions. Not to mention that my response to the Director of Admissions was actually more subdued then how he behaved towards me. But was he told to control his fangs?

It was that experience that shaped my interactions moving forward. At first I thought that maybe I did need to change my approach. But after reflecting on it, I realized it wasn’t so much about how I reacted, but instead my boss didn’t think my behavior was appropriate for a woman.  I was the victim of gender stereotyping.  Why is the perception in society that men should command the room and be aggressive, but women should be subdued and meek?  Anyone will tell you, I am no meek woman. My mother always said that I would either end up in politics or law. While I disappointed her and did not go in either path, my career is a combination of those things. I work heavily in federal regulations in my role and constantly have to navigate the politics of working in higher education. So in a way, I guess I do both. You need to have fangs to do that kind of work.

It still amazes me, almost 8 years later from that experience, that sometimes I am still met with that same reaction when I defend a situation or stand up in support of something. Why is it so hard for society to embrace strong female voices? Why are we so threatening? I am profoundly proud to have been born into a generation that embraces the strength of women and the understanding that women can also control the room. One of the generations that is now shaping the course of history.

That experience empowered me. I controlled my fangs. I did this by leaning into them. After all, fortune favors the bold, right? I embraced my ability to speak up and to push for what I believed in and knew to be true. I will say, that I never approached a situation without first knowing what I was talking about. It is important that when we stand up and push back to defend our stance that we know what we are talking about. There is nothing more embarrassing or discrediting than someone trying to defend something with the wrong facts. So when you embrace your voice, do it with conviction and with knowledge.

Over the years, I have pushed myself further and further with each experience. Embracing my fangs gave me confidence to take on new roles and step outside of my comfort zone. My colleagues will tell you, I will push and fight for what I think is right. I use those fangs to question and challenge the status quo. To help facilitate change in hopes of making things better for everyone.

So my advice. When someone tells you to control your fangs, embrace it. It means that you are a strong voice. That there is something to be said about you. You will shatter glass ceilings. You will push the envelope and strive to make things better. Use your fangs for the greater good. And – girl, control your fangs.

~Deidre

********

f_jokhbsjg2I’m Deidre!  I’m a mom, a career woman, a wife, and loving life in my early 30’s. I have built my career in higher education administration (enrollment management) for the last 10 years.  I believe that you can have all things you desire and they can exist in harmony, it’s just all about the balance and the support system you have built. I will never stop pushing the envelope and striving for more not just for myself but for others. I believe women’s strength is in supporting and empowering one another.

www.linkedin.com/in/deidre-strutz-19212949

About simply...woman!

We encourage spreading the message of knowledge and wisdom. We appreciate and thank our featured partners for their articles. All information provided on Simply…Woman online magazine is for reference only; the content is based on the authors’ experiences and therefore is not intended as a substitute to the services of a fully qualified professional. Although every reasonable effort is made to present current and accurate information, Simply…Woman makes no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information.