Grief Threatens To Take Your Power- You Can Get It Back!

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By Kelci Jager

When my husband Collin passed away, the overwhelming pain left me feeling utterly powerless. These words in my journal reflected the indescribable anguish our family felt in his absence, acknowledging that the pain seemed insurmountable.  “The anguish and despair our family is feeling in his absence is indescribable. The pain is palpable and oftentimes literally takes my breath away. I don’t expect that to go away anytime soon or ever.” 

It’s a common experience to feel helpless and out of control when someone you love is no longer with you. The weight of grief can cast a shadow so dense that finding hope becomes a daunting task. If you resonate with these sentiments, know that you’re not alone. More importantly, there is a path to reclaiming your power.

Embracing Your Feelings

The first step in regaining control over your life is acknowledging and embracing your feelings. The grieving process is complex, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Allow yourself the space to experience the full spectrum of emotions without judgment. Recognizing your feelings is a crucial aspect of the journey toward healing.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Amidst the turmoil of grief, practicing self-compassion becomes essential. Be kind to yourself; grief is not a linear process with a set timeline. Grant yourself the time needed to heal, and avoid rushing through the stages of grief. Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity during this challenging time.

Setting Small Goals

Restoring a sense of power can begin with setting small, manageable goals. Accomplishing even minor tasks can provide a sense of achievement and help build momentum in your journey of healing. These goals don’t need to be monumental; they can be as simple as making your bed every morning, taking a short walk, creating a routine, or engaging in a hobby.

Engaging in Comforting Activities

Participating in activities that bring you comfort or joy is a powerful way to regain control over your emotions. Even if the motivation is initially lacking, small steps in engaging with such activities can gradually improve your mood and overall well-being. Whether it’s reconnecting with a hobby, spending time in nature, or enjoying the company of loved ones, these activities can provide solace and connection.

Focusing on Controllable Aspects

In times of grief, it’s natural to fixate on aspects of life beyond our control. To reclaim your power, shift your focus to what you can control. Identify elements of your life where you have agency and concentrate on those. This redirection of focus can empower you to navigate through the grief with a newfound sense of strength.

While the journey of reclaiming your power is deeply personal, seeking support from others who understand your pain can be transformative. Whether through friends, family, or professional assistance, surrounding yourself with a supportive network can make a significant difference in your healing process.

Feeling powerless in the wake of grief is a shared experience, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state.

Conclusion

By acknowledging your emotions, practicing self-compassion, setting small goals, engaging in comforting activities, and focusing on controllable aspects, you can gradually reclaim your power. This journey is unique to each individual, and while seeking help is a sign of strength, it’s also a testament to your commitment to not just survive but thrive in the face of grief.

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