I'm a Barbie Girl in this Real World

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By Crystal Andrus Morissette

“I’m a Barbie girl in the Barbie world

Life in plastic, it’s fantastic

You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation” 

So, I went to see the Barbie movie with my husband. It was awesome that he wanted to understand this global phenomenon.

I laughed and cried, but not like I thought I would. I may need to go back and see it with a friend so we can laugh, cry and dissect it at the end. My husband didn’t quite get it. Said he was lost for the first 45 minutes. LOL, It’s okay. He tried. He really did.

But this one was for me…

This one hit WAY too close to home in a million and one ways, especially because I was Barbie growing up in the REAL world. The mean world.

And so, I wanted to L-O-V-E the Barbie movie. But strangely, it brought up a lot of unresolved emotions and stories — mostly with internalized misogyny – a.k.a. mean other women. God … girls and women can be so mean. And not just teenagers.

I’ve had mean women allllll my life, some so intent on destroying me and my career. For no reason other than they didn’t like how I looked, how I showed up, and maybe, how I seeeeeeeeeeeemed to be perfect like Barbie. (I was never perfect and NEVER EVER thought I was).

Barbie wasn’t meant for the real world. She was only meant for the pink plastic one.

It was hard growing up. I was teased and taunted. Boys literally chanted B-a-r-b-i-e when I walked by. Girls snubbing me. Talking shit about me. Being mean to me. (They know who they are.) Oh my goodness, the stories I could share. I feel sick thinking about some of it.

And so I never really fit in anywhere, but nobody knew. I pretended to be happy. Walking with purpose, like I had somewhere to go, my head held high. I smiled. I laughed. I never let them see me sweat. But if any of those people knew what I was living through back then — the brutal abuse, homelessness, mean mean mean shocking stuff– they’d probably cry now in shame and apologize for how they treated me. (In fact, some of you have reached out and apologized in recent years. Some actually CRIED to me, waiting for me to absolve them. And, of course, I did.)

So Yes, I’m a Barbie Girl living in the Real World. It’s a really hard world to navigate.

And I see now why I gained 60 pounds (and recently lost them). It makes logical sense to me. It’s called Protection from a World I never felt safe in.

Some people reading this will say, Oh, poor you. To look like Barbie. It must have been hard.

But it was hard. And it is hard. Men want to possess you. Own you. Even just ‘take you + assault you.’ Women hate you — well, not all of them; I always found a few who were Barbies themselves or loved Barbie.

But I really truly hope we are ready to let women be …

Just let women be…

Let Barbie be whatever and whoever she wants to be.

All I want in my life now is to be free to be ME.

I want to be free to shine, smile, sing and dance, write and create, and be accepted for who I am, the way God made me, in all my DNA…. because this is me.

It’s time to love Barbie because we will love ourselves when we do. We will love each other. It’s what we women have to do.

Sending you love,

Crystal