Is Benevolent Sexism the Hidden Dilemma Impacting Women's Success?

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By Asia Jamil

In a struggle for gender equality, it is important to deal with obvious forms of bias and the more subtle ones that keep traditional gender roles alive. Benevolent sexism is when people act in a way that seems well-intended and helpful but promotes gender stereotypes. It has become a problem with short-term and long-term effects on women. This feature article details the complexities of benevolent sexism. It also discusses how benevolent sexism affects women and the importance of being aware of it so that we can make changes. 

Understanding Tricky Behavior

Benevolent sexism frequently presents itself as courtesy or kindness, which makes it hard to see how it could hurt people. Even though it seems helpful, it supports the traditional roles and skills of men and women. Benevolent sexism keeps gender inequality and hierarchical structures in place by emphasizing traits that have less social power. For instance, this comes from the idea that men should take care of and protect women and that women need security and help from men. This sexism is hidden in unasked help to women, like opening doors for them or managing their money. It is praising women’s looks, not their skills or talent. While these comments may seem friendly, they are paternalistic and can assume the idea that women are weaker, less capable, and can’t or shouldn’t make their own choices about their lives and careers.

Benevolent Sexism Behind Body and Age-Shaming

You might know some women’s partners who make unsolicited comments about their bodies or age, like “You should join a gym or get Botox.” Or, “Why don’t you match your make-up and clothes to your size?” Or maybe even suggesting plastic surgery to change the way they look. If you’ve ever heard or received a comment like this, you know how damaging these unsolicited comments can be. Women feel pressured to work hard to meet ridiculous beauty standards to be accepted. From childhood and old fairy tales, most women worldwide are still looking for their Prince Charming. The fact that the bridal filter on TikTok is going viral shows that women are obsessed with being brides. The pressure to please others and to look beautiful hinders women’s independence and confidence. 

The Paradox of Attraction

Studies have found that women are often attracted to men who do things that some might consider “benevolently sexist?” It might sound weird, but it’s rooted in how we evolved as a species. Back then, a woman’s ability to have healthy babies depended on finding a partner to help with pregnancy and care for the kiddos. Certain old-fashioned or courteous behaviors could show that a man would be a good partner and dad. It’s all about investing in the future and being taken care of, you know? According to research, benevolent sexism affects the success and well-being of women in the short and long run. When women receive benevolently sexist feedback, it makes them question their own judgment, capabilities, thoughts, and in turn, themselves. It affects their performance, and they feel less competent. Since benevolent sexism is sneaky, its effects can last longer than a single interaction. It can affect a woman’s confidence in the future.

The Double Bind

When women deal with benevolent sexism, they often have to do two things. Rejecting benevolently sexist help can lead to negative judgments and labels about them as “cold” or “having a chip on their shoulder.” On the other hand, accepting this kind of help keeps the traditional roles of men and women in place. It reinforces the idea that women need security, protection, or help. This complicated situation puts women in a tough spot, where they must tiptoe on how to get around. Hence both refusing and accepting benevolent sexism can have negative effects. We must break the cycle and understand the importance of questioning the ideas behind such sexism. An important step is to examine how this sexism affects gender equality. As a woman, a way to do this is by considering if the help being offered makes you feel weaker or affects your independence. Likewise, men need to think carefully about how they can interact with women in the workplace (and in general) to stop such sexism without accidentally reinforcing harmful gender stereotypes.

Promoting Gender Equity

Creating workplaces and societies where everyone feels included means we have to eliminate “benevolent” sexism. That means we all need to be well aware of it, think about it more deeply, use what we know, and speak up when we hear or see anything that supports it. It can also help if we notice and give props to people who stop benevolent sexism and if we act in ways that are fair to everyone. Finally, talking openly about sexism, learning about it, and sharing our own experiences can help us all understand each other better and make progress.

So, here’s the thing – even though it might not seem like it, “benevolent” sexism is actually not so great for gender equality. It’s all wrapped up in these old-fashioned gender roles promoted in our society, making it harder for women to succeed. So we must recognize how harmful this kind of sexism can be and work together to end it. We want to be in a world where women can do whatever they want based on their talents and skills, not just because someone thinks they’re supposed to be “nice” or “cute” or whatever.

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