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Why Is Going Makeup-Free So Courageous?
I guess #NoMakeupSelfie has been trending since Pamela Anderson, the 90s vixen, went makeup-free during New York Fashion Week.
The headlines two weeks ago dominated with messages when the 56-year-old star first arrived at The Row runway show on Sept. 27 sans makeup and followed the same beauty routine at the Isabel Marant the next day. “Wearing designer looks,” Today.com declared, “she [Anderson] looked happier than ever as she continued her makeup-free spree at the Vivienne Westwood and Victoria Beckham runway show on Sept. 30.”
Jamie Lee Curtis wrote while tagging Anderson on IG, “THE NATURAL BEAUTY REVOLUTION HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN! This woman showed up and claimed her seat at the table with nothing on her face. I am so impressed and floored by this act of courage and rebellion.”
I joined the party a couple of days ago, sharing this photo with the caption, “The no filter, no Facetune, No Makeup Selfie Club. 52 and feeling perfectly content with myself. #NoMakeUp #NoMakeUpSelfie.”
I got comments such as, “You must feel so free and wild!” or simply, “Good for you!”
Ladies, why is going makeup-free such an act of courage and rebellion?
And why are we even talking about this? Why am I writing about it, you may be wondering.
First, you must know I love good glam and wearing makeup! So, this is not a makeup-bashing message! For goodness sake, my daughter, Julia, is a celebrity makeup artist who’s appeared on “Glam Masters” produced by Kim Kardashian, and she most recently spent time glamming Avril Lavigne at said NY Fashion Week, where Pamela made such a commotion.
You have to know I love the beauty world. I’m not anti-makeup by any means! Nor am I suggesting you should join the #NoMakeupSelfie revolution!
Instead, I’m pointing out how torn I am over this entire conversation… especially during a time when it feels like the world is at war, people are dying, and we’re talking about makeup.
Sad, right?
Yet, here I go…
I told a story in my second book, Transcendent Beauty (Hay House Publishing, 2007), where my mother told me when I was very young never to let my husband see me without makeup because the mistress always gets treated better than the wife.
Really sad, right? My goodness, the messages I learned about being a woman!
So I get it…
I get how this makeup-less look might seem daring and courageous, especially for older women who were almost all taught to “always put on a little lipstick” when you go out because your identity and worth are wrapped up in your beauty. Your appearance.
Your worth as a woman is determined in part by how you look.
Honestly, I struggle with this conversation similarly to how I’ve struggled with “the weight conversation.” You may know that over the last year, I’ve lost over 50 pounds. Almost effortlessly.
But for many years, my extra body fat was me giving “the middle finger” to Patriarchy and the idea that “good” women are slim, soft-spoken, and lovely. I was angry.
At one point, I threw my scale away in an attempt to discard the messages I’d heard my whole life, particularly the one that told me I was worth my weight.
I was ready to take up space.
Fuck skinny, I thought. Fuck dieting. I’m so over it. I’m done trying to shrink myself to fit into places I’ve outgrown. I will do what I want, eat what I want, and drink what I want when I want. I will sleep when I want. Wake when I want. And no one will tell me what to do.
My Inner Rebellious Teenager was cheering. During one interview, I proudly said: “You know what I say to the Patriarchy? You can’t make me small enough for you to feel big enough!”
The host loved that comment. We giggled at my empowerment. A few listeners told me they cheered afterward. The best part was that being chubby was easier, even a little fun, and it seemed to work better for a while. The body-positivity movement was gaining ground, and Lizzo was telling us it was About Damn Time. And even though I preached that being a good mother, wife, and woman means taking care of yourself first, I convinced myself that gaining weight didn’t bother me at all. I loved myself, no matter my size. And I did.
I did love myself . . . and applaud every other size woman who loves herself until I realized that loving myself and taking care of myself, protecting myself, nurturing myself, listening to myself, feeding myself healthy food, moving my body, believing in myself, keeping myself and my dreams safe to explore and pursue, having fun and pleasure, and standing up for myself were all part of the same thing. After being told to stand down too many times and then standing down, I’d lost my confidence. And not because of the weight but because of the stories I was telling myself about myself. Those hurtful, inaccurate, and cruel stories hurt me deeply, and I felt like I must grow “thicker skin” just to survive.
Interestingly, as I’ve lost the weight over this past year, I’ve confronted a lot of emotions and feelings of vulnerability. I’ve cried a lot and did a lot of letting go.
Looking back, here’s the interesting thing: No matter my size, it seemed I was always too much. Too intense. Too outgoing. Too friendly. Too ambitious. Too happy. Too confident. Too talkative. Too opinionated. Too intimidating. Too independent. Too bold. Too loud. Too proud. Too bright. Too light. Too flirtatious. Too sensitive. Too sexy. Too tall. Too muscular. Too strong. Too blonde. Too pretty. Too emotional. Too something. Too much.
Definitely too much makeup. Too much hair. Too much “woman.” Just tone it down was the message I kept hearing.
Sadly, the truth is, I really just wanted to live my best life and be loved, accepted, respected, and maybe even admired. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to leave a legacy.
The confusing thing was that my value as a woman was perceived through my feminine qualities, such as my looks, body, sexuality, creativity, and even how well I could cook or decorate a home. Still, at the same time, I’d been programmed to strive for achievement, productivity, and recognition. I watched successful men walk into a room and command attention. However, there was an implicit and explicit message to me, and women like me, to look sexy (right down to wearing heels and dresses) yet act like a lady, know my place, serve, be feminine and compliant, and get along. It was an impossible feat.
This is why this makeup conversation is stirring things in me…
What does it mean to be an empowered woman?
Is makeup, hair dye, great outfits, heels, and jewelry an attempt to hide or love ourselves? Is extra weight protection? What about those women who feel like they need to be “model-thin?”
What do we think when we speak the word woman?
Has her role and the core of what she stands for changed? How would a woman manage her life, deal with challenges, teach people how to treat her, and take care of herself? Is she spiritual and sexy? Is she thin, voluptuous, fit, or fat? Or does her size and shape not matter?
Can she be prosperous and independent, or does a woman need a man? Does she need sex and attention, or does she need no one? And what happens if a woman has children? Must she become saintly, selfless, and self-abnegating? Should she wear makeup?????
Do you see now why I am so passionate about helping ALL WOMEN find and create a life that is true to them?
We women are on the front lines right now; we are expanding consciousness. We’re writing a new script for what it can mean to be a woman. We are in new, unchartered territory!
Most importantly, we must unite. Come together. Support each other with or without makeup. Holy shit, honestly, IT DOESN’T MATTER.
Isn’t that what empowerment means? You get to choose??? You do you! Your body, your choice? Your face, your choice?
All I am certain of is that empowerment equals choice. And when you think you have no choice, you disempower yourself.
Love,
Crystal
********
Crystal Andrus Morissette, Founder Simply Woman Magazine
From life as a homeless teen to coaching A-List celebrities, from having abs of steel and the Miss Galaxy to weighing over 200 pounds after having babies, Emotional Age and Communication Expert Crystal Andrus Morissette is a worldwide leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. A media darling, she has been featured numerous times on Oprah.com, the New York Post, Fox TV, the Daily Mail, CBS Radio, CTV, CityTV, Global TV, Slice TV, the Globe and Mail, and the Toronto Star. Crystal is the founder of the S.W.A.T. Institute (Simply Woman Accredited Trainer), an empowerment coach certification exclusively for women that she created with fellow female visionaries Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Colette Baron-Reid, and Sandra Anne Taylor among others. Established in 2009, the S.W.A.T. Institute is now in over 30 countries.
Crystal is the author of five best-selling books, including her latest release entitled, “Simply…Woman: Stories from 30 magnificent women who have risen against the odds!” She is also certified in nutrition, sports medicine, and yoga.
Crystal’s message of resilience, strength, and inner power has allowed her to grace the stage with speakers such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Naomi Judd, Suze Orman, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Dr. Joan Borysenko, Debbie Ford, Sarah Ferguson—Duchess of York, and many more. Crystal has coached women from all walks of life including A-list celebrities, best-selling authors, scientists, doctors, dentists, and lawyers to stay-at-home moms and struggling teens. Her passion is to get down in the trenches and help people become the (s)heroes of their own lives.
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