Remembering the ancient strength within us

A few days ago, I posted something simple online.

It read:

“Matriarchy doesn’t mean women take over.
It means care becomes the center.
Children are safe.
The Earth is protected.
No one is disposable.”

Within hours, the comments began pouring in.

Hundreds of them.

Angry.
Dismissive.
Mocking.

Most from men. 

Some people might think I should delete them.
Some might expect me to laugh at them.

But I’m not laughing.
And I’m not deleting them.

Because what those comments reveal is something important.

They reveal how deeply this conversation still matters.

And they remind me of something ancient that lives inside women — something far older than social media, far older than patriarchy, far older than the systems we live inside today.

When Women Stay Quiet, No One Attacks

I’ve noticed something over the years.

If I "stay in my lane" — if I talk about coaching, confidence, losing weight, or simply “feeling good about yourself” — everything is fine.

No one attacks.

But the moment I say something even slightly empowered…for women...

The moment I talk about systems…

The moment I talk about women rising…

The backlash begins.

And that tells me something.

Not about women.

About the system.

I Have Seen This Before

In January 2016, my book The Emotional Edge was released.

It was a powerful moment.

Julian Lennon retweeted one of my posts.
Oprah featured my Emotional Age Quiz.
My Facebook page reached 14 million people in one week.

But something else was happening at the same time.

The newly elected president had been recorded saying:

“Grab them by the p*ssy.”

Many people dismissed it as locker room talk.

But something inside my body reacted immediately.

My nervous system knew something my mind didn’t fully understand yet.

I’ve been here before.

My body knew.
My mind knew.
My past knew.
My trauma knew.

Those words were not just words.

They were the underbelly being exposed.

Finally.

Maybe now the truth of what so many women have lived through could be spoken about openly — without being dismissed, minimized, or labeled hysterical.

So I sounded the alarm.

Something was seriously wrong.

Pay attention.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

And what followed was something I was not prepared for.

The online attacks.

The ridicule.

The bullying.

And that bullying did exactly what bullies want.

It made me hide.

I shut down. I became invisible. 

Bullies Want You Silent

Bullies don’t want dialogue.

They want silence.

They want you to stop posting.
Stop speaking.
Stop having opinions.

And if I’m honest, the bullying worked for a while.

I was bullied growing up — especially inside my own home by my brother.

When I would cry to my mother, she would say:

“Sticks and stones can break your bones, but names will never hurt you.”

But that isn’t true.

Words do hurt.

And the physical hurt even more.

Those early experiences shaped something inside me.

They created a woman who would stand up to bullies.

Until one day…

I couldn’t anymore.

When the Body Says “Enough”

When the #MeToo movement opened the floodgates in 2018, the collective stories of abuse and trauma became overwhelming.

My body was flooded constantly with stress hormones.

Cortisol.

Fear.

Hypervigilance.

My nervous system was exhausted.

And without even realizing it, I gained over 50 pounds.

It was protection.

My body was trying to keep me safe.

Three Years Ago, Everything Changed

Three years ago, my father died. And something inside me shifted.

I knew I could no longer hide.

Not behind a bigger body.

Not behind silence.

Not behind fear.

The world was changing, and something inside me said:

You must show up again.

I lost 50 pounds in five months, but I also felt my body go back on high alert. I am one of those incredibly sensitive souls who feel everything.

The Truth I See Now

Now, here we are: Ten years after my "ground-breaking book", The Emotional Edge was published. Ten years of processing grief, rage, fear, and anger…

I see something clearly. 

We are nowhere close to gender equality.

And bullies are not going away.

So the real question becomes:

What do we do?

Something Else Happened This Week

Here's the irony, the same day I posted that message online…

I received a cancer diagnosis.

Yes.

The same day.

And strangely, something inside me became even clearer.

When life hands you something real to face — something that actually matters — you stop giving your energy away to noise. 

You stop giving power to bullies.

You stop shrinking.

And you begin to see the bigger picture.

Radical Acceptance

Right now, I am learning something new. Something deeper than resilience. Something deeper than empowerment. I am learning Radical Acceptance.

Not resignation.

Not defeat. 

But the ability to stand in truth without fighting the reality of what is. 
To see the whole picture. 

To remain in the light.

Healing and Purpose Can Exist Together

Some people may assume I will disappear for a while to heal.

But what I’ve learned is this:

We can heal and create at the same time. Purpose is not a distraction from healing.

Purpose is fuel.

Purpose is the oil in my lamp.

Purpose keeps the light burning.

And So I Continue...

I will not give my power away to bullies.

I will not silence my voice.

I will not shrink my message.

Instead, I will continue to speak from a higher level of consciousness.

From a place that sees the bigger picture.

From a place that knows women carry an ancient intelligence within them.

One that does not react.

One that remembers.

To the Women Reading This

There is something inside you that is older than fear.

Older than criticism.

Older than the systems that try to define you.

It is quiet.

It is wise.

It is powerful.

And it is rising.

And as I now navigate this unexpected cancer journey, I can say something with absolute clarity:

I will walk this path with more energy, dignity, purpose, and love than ever before.

Because when you stop giving your power away…

Your light becomes unstoppable.

Love,
Crystal